What is the secret to confidence and self esteem?

Why is it that some people seem to have all the luck? Brimming with confidence, happiness and success they have a strong sense of love and belonging while other people, no matter how hard they try, are always wondering if they’re good enough?

What makes the difference?  Is it money?  Opportunity?  Talent?  Intelligence?  Beauty? Popularity? The number of likes, shares and followers on social media?  What could it be?

 

 

One thing makes all the difference

Researcher Brene Brown spent six years of intensive study to find the answer to this question and found that it all comes down to one single variable:  a person’s belief of whether or not they’re worthy.

People who have a strong sense of love and belonging believe they’re worthy of love and belonging.  That’s it.  They believe they’re worthy.

“There was only one variable that separated the people who have a strong sense of love and belonging and the people who really struggle for it. And that was, the people who have a strong sense of love and belonging believe they’re worthy of love and belonging. That’s it. They believe they’re worthy…  [T]he one thing that keeps us out of connection is our fear that we’re not worthy of connection…” Brene Brown

The importance of feeling worthy

If we feel worthy of love and belonging, then we have a strong sense of love and belonging, but if we fear that we’re not worthy of love and belonging, then we always wonder if we’re good enough and we don’t feel like we’re loved or that we belong.

If you want to belong, if you want to feel loved, then you need to feel worthy of love and belonging.

The truth is you’re already worthy of love and belonging, that’s not the problem.  The real challenge is believing it.

 

 

A message of hope

If you struggle with believing that you’re worthy of love and belonging I have a message for you:

First, you have value and are worthy of love and belonging and I can prove it.  You don’t have to do anything to earn it, it’s just a given fact.  All human souls have value and are worthy of love and belonging.

Second, you’re stronger than you think you are.  You have the power to improve your life.  You are capable of healing and change.

When you begin to believe in these two basic premises, everything changes.  I know, because it is changing me.

I understand how it feels

I was just a little girl, six years old, when I concluded that there was something inherently wrong with me that made me insignificant and unworthy of love.  My self esteem was terrible.  This belief system not only affected the way I saw myself, but it also affected the way I saw other people as well.  I knew that if someone was nice to me, they were really just pretending, they didn’t actually care about me because that just wasn’t possible.  And this has been the core, the foundation, of my belief system my whole life and I couldn’t even imagine thinking any other way.

A few years ago, I looked back to find the source of my beliefs and examining it from an adult perspective with greater understanding, I realized that the conclusion I made as a child wasn’t true.  My entire belief system was actually built up around misunderstanding and misinterpreting events in my life, but that discovery didn’t automatically solve all my problems.  It didn’t make me instantly like myself or feel loved, valued and confident.  It was more like the sensation of having someone pull the rug out from under me.  I felt confused and disoriented. After all, I had decades of habits and tons of accumulated evidence that supported my old way of thinking.  Everything I had always believed to be true had to be right, …right?

Making a choice

 

I needed to make a choice about what I wanted to believe, because what you believe about yourself and about others, makes a huge difference.  It makes all the difference.  What you believe is more real to you than reality is real to you.

Let me restate some basic truths (i.e. reality) for you:

First, you have value and are worthy of love and belonging and I can prove it.  You don’t have to do anything to earn it, it’s just a given fact.  All human souls have value and are worthy of love and belonging.

Second, you’re stronger than you think you are.  You have the power to improve your life.  You are capable of healing and change.

If you don’t believe these basic truths, I know how you feel.  I’ve been there, and I can help you take simple, specific steps to reprogram your thinking which can help improve your self-worth, your success, your relationships, and your happiness.

Hope for Healing Program

We empower people to upgrade the way that they think and feel.

The Hope for Healing Program is a simple, easy-to-follow system that can alleviate symptoms of depression and anxiety; build confidence and self-esteem; and heal relatioships. 

Emotional First Aid Kit

An emotional first aid kit can provide an immediate, although temporary, positive effect on the way we think and feel.  Having an emotional first aid kit readily available can help people who are struggling with symptoms of depression, anxiety, low self esteem, or other mental and emotional issues.  

You are good enough, and we can prove it!

Have you ever wondered if you’re good enough?  Well, we have the answer to that question.  The answer is yes, you are good enough and we can prove it.

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You can build confidence and self esteem with simple, consistent actions.  Here are five things that scientific research has shown to increase feelings of confidence and self esteem.

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You are good enough - and we can prove it!

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